


What a Beautiful Mess We Make

by clarityhiding, Rider_of_Spades



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon-Typical Violence, Domestic Fluff, Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified, F/F, Family Feels, Fluff and Angst, Jason Todd is Red Hood, M/M, Male-Female Friendship, Mother-Son Relationship, Not!Fic, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protective Jason Todd, Redemption, Some Humor, Tim Drake is Not Red Robin
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-21
Updated: 2020-05-14
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:56:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23764969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clarityhiding/pseuds/clarityhiding, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rider_of_Spades/pseuds/Rider_of_Spades
Summary: An AU not!fic in which Tim Drake is raised as the Harlequin's protege/son and Jason is his usual crime-lord-slash-vigilante self.
Relationships: Pamela Isley/Harleen Quinzel, Tim Drake & Harleen Quinzel, Tim Drake/Jason Todd
Comments: 50
Kudos: 204





	1. The Beginning

I just had the weirdest, most wonderful image pop into my head. What if Tim was Harley Quinn's protege and Jason was his usual crime-lord-slash-vigilante-self?

Jason being at points amused, turned on or annoyed by this little twunk in hot(?) pants. Going on a drunken bender together and riding a motorcycle through Gotham. Enjoying explosions of Jason's competitors' warehouses full of drugs on a nearby rooftop once they start dating each other.

Jason buying Tim quality makeup and nail polish because it's part of Tim's shtick as the Harlequin's protege. Warming Tim's cold hands up between his because Tim's circulation has been kinda fucked up since his dunk in Ace Chemicals (by the Joker, back before Harley took Tim and escaped with him). Jason getting Tim a dozen black roses cultivated by Poison Ivy (Jason owes her a favour now) for Valentines.

...frick, Jason basically enjoying being Tim's sugar daddy, giving him things because Jason himself never got to have things as a kid.

Also, Jason's glad he wears a helmet as his MO, as Tim loves to kiss him full on the mouth with his dark red lipstick before Jason goes on patrol. Makes a mess of his face, like, seriously.

Tim makes it very difficult for Jason to go on patrol. It's hard to pull himself away from such lovely kisses!

He'd agree to bring Tim on patrol with him, except his grapple was not built to carry two and he doesn't want his goons eyeing his lovely squeeze.

Tim solves the problem by brushing up on his rusty parkour skills and nearly giving Jason a heart attack by popping up near a shootout once to clobber a Black Mask goon that had been about to shoot Jason.

Harley giving Jason the shovel talk:

Jason isn't exactly scared, but he's been taught not to underestimate pint-sized women (Black Bat could totally lay him flat out on his back after all) and this is essentially Tim's mom. She put herself in danger to rescue Tim from the Joker's clutches, so he stands there with his head bowed, hands clasped in front of him and listens respectfully while she details how she'd feed his man bits to Bruce the hyena if he ever mistreated Tim (ok, he winces a bit at that).

(Oh, and also, Jason is totally amused Harley named her pet hyena Bruce.)

(Jason also suggests she names her next pet Dick, after "the other hunky Wayne".)

And so Dick is this mean-eyed ugly macaw that's lost half its feathers to disease. Jason and Tim rescued him in a black market bust of Penguin's and gifted it to Harley. Harley totally loves him.

In the middle of the night, sleeping next to each other, Tim wakes up and wonders how he got so lucky; how he landed himself a gorgeous, tender-hearted hunk of a boyfriend. Jason himself also wakes up a bit later and marvels at Tim, and thanks his lucky stars for Tim and Harley. It's because of them he's not afraid of clowns anymore.

(That, and the time he saw Bruce the hyena bite Joker on the ass. Tim caught it on camera; the photo sits facedown in Jason's drawer where he takes it out on bad days or when he needs a good laugh.)

Jason also owns a photo of the time Tim stuck chopsticks up his own nostrils and squinted suspiciously off to the side at Jason's houseplant while wearing a blue cream mask on his face. The context of this photo is completely lost to him now as they were both mildly drunk at the time.

Tim only allows Jason to keep THIS photo because Jason gives good head.

Jason ends up quitting cigarettes because one of Tim's last memories before he got dunked in Ace chemicals is of Joker's henchmen pressing cigarette burns into him. At first, he just avoids smoking around Tim because even though they weren't close, he still wasn't an asshole; he understood traumas. Then, as they grow closer and become friends then lovers, Jason spends more and more time around Tim and less and less time smoking then... will you look at that. He's not had a cigarette for weeks.

(Btw, Poison Ivy eventually calls in Jason's favour for help courting Harley. He and Tim help set off fireworks for their romantic picnic at Robinson Park. And thus that was how Tim ended up with a second mom.)

Family gatherings are great. Jason gets along splendidly with Ivy, who is suitably impressed with Jason's clearly good taste in feminist literature (Jason casually mentions liking Virginia Woolf on top of Austen). They also "commiserate" with each other over their respective partners' eccentricities over wine while watching Harley roller skate in the park, led by a running Bruce the hyena on a body-leash while Tim holds onto her waist and yells "wooooo" to high heavens.

(Oh yeah, that time Jason saw Bruce the hyena bite Joker's ass? Dick the macaw was shrieking "BEGONE THOT!" high above in the warehouse's rafters.)

(Jason may have also taught Dick the macaw a Shakespearean insult or two.)

And that is how Damian as Robin one day ends up with a parrot calling him "Thou lily-livered boy!"

Dick as Nightwing nearly had a heart attack when Harley reprimands Dick the macaw to play nice. Although you should see his face when he realises the hyena's name is Bruce.

Jason is just smirking behind his helmet at Bruce/Batman's constipated expression, who instantly deduces that Jason has not given up their identities but trolled Harley into naming her pets after the Bats. Bruce/Batman feels a headache coming.


	2. Here Comes the Angst (and Fluff) Train

Memory issues: Tim doesn't remember his parents anymore. He doesn't remember much of his life before the dunk in Ace Chemicals. Sometimes he gets flashes of his past life alongside headaches: a camera, Batman's silhouette in the moonlight, Robin's smile (why does his heart beat faster at the thought of Robin's smile?). And sometimes he dreams of being warm in a woman's arms (his mother?), the joyous laughter of a man calling out his name (his father?) and wakes up with tears streaming down his face. Why's he crying in his sleep at what must've been good memories? He doesn't know.

(It's because those dreams aren't real, because he was never hugged by his mother, because his father never called out his name in such sincere joy. Somewhere deep down, he knows they are not true.)

Fears related to eating: Back before Tim's dunk in Ace Chemicals, when Joker kept him prisoner and intended to make him into Joker Junior, the henchmen weren't exactly good at taking care of him and the Joker didn't care. While Tim always had water to drink from the sink he was cuffed next to, he didn't exactly... get 3 square meals a day.

And Jason, Jason was a street kid for a long time. So both of them knew the instinctual fear of not knowing where their next meal came from, and both developed a habit of hoarding food in their rooms: nonperishables like cookies, canned food and chips were always prized. They didn't realise each other had that sort of habit until they ended up living together, and one day they bumped into each other while carrying food back to their rooms to hoard. And looking into each other's eyes, they understood.

They laughed of course, because weren't they such big awful messes together? Then the laughter turned to tears, as they wept for themselves and each other. They stayed in each other's arms like that, crying for a long time.

After that, they never mentioned the hoarding to each other again. But sometimes they would leave each other things like candies and canned food on the counter (Tim leaves love notes next to them). And on good days, when they're feeling particularly whole and content, they would take out the food in their stashes to share with each other: sitting in front of the couch, snarking at a bad TV show, snacking.

Skin condition: Tim's skin is more sensitive now and dries more easily due to his dunk in Ace Chemicals. Harsh winters are hell on him, as he develops painful cracks on his hands and feet. Jason makes sure to keep the heater up and massages quality cocoa butter lotion into Tim's hands and feet. He also makes sure the makeup he buys Tim are organic and hypoallergenic. Tim has two sets: one for signifying he's the Harlequin's protege and another for covering up his chalk-white skin so he and Jason can go out on dates in the day like a normal couple.

PTSD: As we know, Tim took a dunk in Ace Chemicals, just like Jason took a dunk in the Lazarus pit. As a result, both of them have developed the fear of drowning. They can handle looking at large bodies of water, but once a movie has drowning involved it instantly gets switched off.

Naturally, Jason also has a fear of dark, enclosed spaces due to the fact he woke up in a coffin. That's why his bedroom is unusually large for an apartment of that size. Once Tim figures it out, he also gifts Jason with a nightlight. Jason's usually too embarrassed to use it, but whenever he wakes up screaming, wild-eyed, and turns it on, Tim knows what's going on. He then cuddles Jason loosely, without trapping his limbs and talks to him about all sorts of random things until Jason calms down. It works like magic because Jason was alone in that coffin, alone in the oppressive dark. But now he has the nightlight and Tim.

Tim justifies the nightlight as being a smart move to make it harder for an enemy to sneak up on Jason at night! Also, faster response time in case of emergency and fewer stubbed toes. And, and! If it's one of those ones that brighten when they sense motion it is 1) an alert in case of possible intruder, 2) a wonderful toy if Jason ever gets a pet cat.

Once Tim figures he can logic Jason into using the nightlight with these reasons, he does it with a Powerpoint because any Tim is still Tim. Jason is utterly sold and begins using the nightlight shamelessly.

As an aside: Jason notices Tim eyeing the fancy-schmancy Nikon camera display when they're out on a date, so on their upcoming anniversary, he gifts Tim with one! Sugar daddy Jason strikes again! He also insists on buying Tim all the fancy attachments, and takes him places so he has interesting/different subjects to photograph.

Just. Jason buying/doing lots of nice things for Tim because Tim deserves ALL the nice things. Batman keeps trying to figure out Hood's game but 90% of his actions now seem to be geared towards treating his boyfriend like a princess? Batman is flummoxed by this turn of events (but not complaining). (Besides, a happy Tim means a happy Harley means the both of them are less likely to cause chaos in the streets!)

That's their vacation once Jason arranges to leave his most loyal minions running his kingdom (supervised by moms Harley and Ivy), him taking Tim off to someplace beautiful to photograph to his heart's content. Also Batman never predicted this in a million years, but deep inside his gruff heart he's happy that Jason's happy.

This is all well and good until Batman miscalculated and... "What's that bag? I haven't seen that before," Jason says, poking Tim's newest acquisition. "Batman left it for me the other night. I think he's been watching and he figures if he gifts me designer stuff then I won't steal it." Shrug.

...Jason did not know it was possible to be angry/ jealous of your own pseudo-father figure before, but oh boy, he is livid! Only HE (and maybe sometimes Harley) gets to buy Tim nice things!! 

This ends in a confrontation between Red Hood and Batman. With Damian facepalming at the side because this had to be the stupidest reason Hood has for a confrontation ever.

Bruce just thought! If Tim has nice, legally acquired things, that's better? "I bought and paid for his shit fair and square," Jason growls. He would never steal his gifts for Tim, they might get taken back then and that would be horrible!

"But there's also the matter of how you acquired the money to buy those presents," argued Batman. Stolen and/or drug money!

"You don't know I didn't pay for it out of my trust fund," Jason snaps. (He didn't. He used the black card he swiped from Bruce months ago in a move they both pretend never happened. As long as it's not used for shady, illegal things, Bruce will never say anything.)

Imagine Harley and Batman sharing hiding spots as they spy on Tim and Jason's dates and counter anything that comes up that might possibly interrupt said dates! Harley keeps trying to make small talk until Batman finally replies just to get her to calm down and somehow it turns into a therapy session and he comes out of the whole thing feeling better than he has in years? Meanwhile, Harley comes out of it with a new pair of kick-ass boots that Batman was nice enough to get her when the heel broke on the pair she was wearing.


	3. Turning Point (Part 1)

Ok, so we know Jason and Tim both have trauma re: drowning right? And one time they're fighting together with Jason's goons at Gotham Bay. Except, somehow in the mess Tim gets cornered by the end of the pier by Black Mask's goons. Jason gets desperate to reach Tim, but there are too many enemy goons in the way and next thing he knows, he hears a heart-stopping scream from his boyfriend: Tim has just been kicked into the Bay. And because of his fear of drowning, he never learned to swim.

Jason becomes absolutely FERAL. He shoots his way through the goons and rushes over to the pier and fights his way through. His goons all help him and are working twice as hard as usual too, because they know there will be hell to pay if the boss's boyfriend dies.

Except, once he reaches the edge of the pier, Jason's limbs become suddenly frozen. His own trauma with drowning kicks in. It's only for a split second, but Harry his right-hand man notices it and dives in after Tim. Harry saves Tim and gets a major pay raise after, but Jason can't stop blaming himself. What if Harry hadn't been there? He could've lost Tim to his own inaction, his own fear.

Meanwhile Tim gets even more traumatised. He becomes afraid of bigger bodies of water. He almost can't stand to be in the bathroom if the bathtub is full. He starts screaming in his sleep again, and Jason's never seen him do that since the early days when they started sleeping together in the same bed. Jason knows something has to be done about his and Tim's traumas.

Problem is, Tim needs a therapist and where can he find a trustworthy one? Leslie isn't one, and Harley is way too close to the situation, way too heartbroken over her baby to be a good choice.

Jason decides to go to Black Canary for help. After all, she's a hero; she wouldn't turn away Tim, right? She doesn't turn away Tim, but she also refuses to take Jason's dirty money. Her condition? Jason has to go for therapy too.

Jason... isn't exactly disgruntled to go to therapy. He's aware he needs it for his own traumas, and he's happy to do it for Tim too.

At first, they just deal with Jason's traumas re: the Lazarus Pit and drowning. But eventually, they branch out into his other traumas and finally, his issues with the parental figures in his life. That's the most difficult part for Jason, really. But he finds that he sleeps easier and feels calmer these days, and some days he comes out of therapy feeling better after a good cry (even though other days he feels like absolute shit).

After a year and a half of biweekly therapy, Jason's issues with Bruce become the first to be untangled. It helps that Tim isn't his Replacement in this universe, that Bruce never replaced him until Damian come along, and Jason understands that Damian's a messed up kid who needed the affirmation too. Jason just felt abandoned by Bruce because Bruce never killed the Joker, because Bruce seemed to have moved on from him (even though really, Bruce never did), because Bruce disapproved of him. But he starts remembering the good days he had with Bruce. He feels a bit melancholic and tired of holding onto the anger and hatred and really, despite it all, he discovers that he still loves Bruce somewhere inside his heart and accepts it. He just wants his Dad back.

And somewhere along the way, Red Hood became less about sticking it to Bruce and more about helping Crime Alley. Jason never outright enjoyed killing anyway, so he switches to rubber bullets. He still steals money from criminals of course, he'll never stop that, but he slowly withdraws from the drug scene. His goons become more of informants and assistant fighters; he lets go of the problematic ones and keeps those who are in it because they have no other option in life.

So there comes a day when he tells Dinah he's ready to reconcile with Bruce and Dick. He goes home and writes long letters to the both with them, with many tries and Tim's help and Harley's advice. In it, he details that he's still kinda angry and hurt about their actions and words, but he's starting to understand their views now. He tells them that he might never completely agree with them, that they might never be 100% ok, but he's ready to forgive them and move on with his life.

Jason's surprised to find that he really means it, that he's ready to forgive them. Where the anger and hurt once throttled him there's only calm emptiness now, and that's a sweet relief.

He gives the letters to Dinah, to hand over to Bruce and Dick. To his surprise, they write back. Bruce's letter is awkward as fuck and full of stiff, formal language (he can see Alfred's heavy interference there and the thought of Alfred standing over Batman as he writes the letter amuses him) but also surprisingly emotional. Bruce doesn't outright come out and say that he loves Jason, but he admits that he never got over losing Jason, and isn't that a punch to the gut for Jason?

Dick's letters back to Jason are cautious and hopeful. And then enthusiastic, perhaps overly so. Typical Dick. It becomes easy to write to Dick, doing a back and forth banter and talking about their days like brothers again, like the good days they had back then.

One day he sees Nightwing several buildings over on patrol. Nightwing waves enthusiastically and makes to come over. Jason panics; they did well with letters but is he really ready to talk to Dick again face to face? Thankfully, Batman stops Nightwing and talks to him. Dick's face falls and he instantly looks sulky but he waves again. Jason waves back, Dick goes back to smiling before leaving. Then it's Jason and Bruce staring awkwardly and each other from several buildings over before Bruce waves. Jason waves back and leaves, smiling under his helmet.


	4. Turning Point (Part 2)

This stalemate of just writing letters is eventually broken by Cass, who comes to Jason's apartment one day to ask him about reading. Now, Jason has no problems with his little(?) sister so he cautiously accepts. He grows to enjoy her company and teachers her to love books as well, although he's low-key horrified by her fascination with bodice rippers.

Bodice-rippers are Stephanie's favorites and she has convinced Cass of their quality! Jason keeps trying to get her to read Austen, but Cass is easily distracted by trashy novels.

Then one day, Cass turns up at his apartment with a communicator. It's tuned into the Bats' channel when they patrol. She gives it to Jason, smiling and says, "From everyone" and goes back to reading.

Jason, Jason holds onto the communicator for several days thoughtfully. Then he sticks it in his ear, heart hammering and turns it on. He listens to Dick and Steph bantering over the comms, Damian's barbs, Bruce's sighs and Barbara's instructions ... then he clears his throat. Instant silence.

"'sup nerds."

Steph cheers, while Dick babbles happily. And Damian gives a snotty welcome by congratulating him on his wise decision. It's like he's a part of them, like he never left. Jason's throat goes tight, but he manages to make his witty comeback and they go from there.

Now it's only a matter of time before Steph learns that, between them, Harley and Tim own the largest collection of bodice rippers in Gotham. (Harlequin romances!)

Steph shows up at his apartment with Cass one day.

Jason: (blurts out) What are you doing here?

Steph: Oh, I'm not here to see you! I'm here to see Tim! Hey, Tim! Is it true you have the largest collection of bodice rippers in Gotham?

Jason: (realises what this is about) (groans)

Turns out, Tim owns an entire _library_ of bodice rippers in the basement that Jason helped convert into a cosy space. Jason watches in horror as Cass, Steph and Tim promptly form a bodice-ripper book club. (Harley soon gets called over to join in.)

(Also Selina?)

Selina shows up sulkily at the door because (nearly) everyone forgot to invite her. She brings chocolate and wine and nail polish ok! They can have a girls' (and one guy) night!

...Jason is promptly kicked out of his own apartment. So he sighs and goes to see Alfred.

This is good! Tim is making friends, friends who can _swim_!!! Friends who don't care about his pale skin or little eccentricities, they just pull him closer and give him hugs, or call Jason or his moms if he's having a really bad time.

Tim, too, has been gradually going through exposure therapy while Jason was going through his own transformation. So maybe he's ready to learn swimming from his new gal pals? They coo at his little Red Hood insignia tattoo once they see it.

It's a very small, tasteful tattoo. Harley made it very clear that he wants to be careful about lover-related ink.

Yes. Meanwhile, Jason and Tim are both doing so well, and they've been together for _years_ now and are still as in love as day one, so Jason's idly beginning to think of proposing? Not that they can marry officially of course, Jason's still legally dead and Tim's identity is still a mystery (plus he's still persona non grata in the eyes of the law), but it would nice to have a ceremony, just family and friends, to celebrate their love.

[Plus Harley and Ivy (and Steph and Cass and maybe Dick too) would have so much fun in the planning]

But at the suit fitting session, Bruce sees Tim in a suit and the back of his mind starts niggling. Hasn't he seen Tim somewhere before, in a suit, just like this?


End file.
